“Just as the beauty of the blossom unfolds one petal at a time, so too the beauty of our Soul is revealed one layer at a time.” ~ Sue Krebs
One of my clients is going through some of the biggest lessons in her life. All she has been able to “see” at this point is the fear. All attempts to avoid, go around and get out of the “work” she is being pushed to do, she has tried. At this point, the Universe keeps pushing her sometimes gently, sometimes not so gently. Wrapped up in “what if’s” and “can not’s,” she is simply terrified and does not trust she is on the right path.
The right path is usually the one where you are required to get really dirty. It is the road that leads to the most growth but only after you get dragged through all the crap. Anyone who is walking the path of truth, the path of light, will tell you it is absolutely not the easy road. One of my favorite Zen sayings is, “Chop wood, carry water before enlightenment. Chop wood, carry water after enlightenment.”
My client is an extremely wise, old soul in a young physical body. She also had a great deal of trauma as a child that affected her self-beliefs. As a young child, she knew her power; she was born wise, strong and knowing. We are all born knowing our truth and then life happens.
Traumatic events in our childhood suppress our knowing. As we grow and develop, these childhood experiences can shape who we become. In order to find our truth again, we must peel back the layers, one by one.
This “peeling back” process started for me when I was sexually assaulted by a man at work. The company sent me to counseling in hopes I wouldn’t sue them. As horrible as it was at the time, in the end it was a blessing. It was the beginning of my own process of peeling back my layers, opening my childhood wounds and loving every one of them back into whole love.
Like my client, I fought it at first. Okay, well actually, I fought it for a long time. I wanted to believe my childhood wasn’t all that bad and I didn’t have any wounds. Strong-willed, independent and fun loving, I saw no reason to delve into why I did the things I did. Then, it was as if the Universe knew I wasn’t getting it…not really, so I was given the gift of birthing another. If there is ever a reason to delve into your layers, birth a baby, know this little, tiny being is depending on you to grow and learn. One of my first thoughts when I found out I was pregnant literally was, “I must be who I want this child to become.”
That was almost twenty years ago. Like my client, I went down my path fighting, kicking, screaming and bawling. As the layers began to peel, I continued to pray, “Please God, angel, spirits, anyone who will listen, please help me learn this lesson so I can move on and not repeat it.” Sometimes, I felt like a white water raft whose occupants had fallen out and was wildly being tossed down the river, getting hit by rocks, caught in rapids and almost drown over and over. Yet, there were always signs when I needed them most. Usually those signs came in the form of bald eagles. The Natives have always believed the eagle flies with the Gods so I knew they were sending me strength and wisdom to stay on my path.
Know that as you walk your path back to your knowing, back to the love you were born out of, as you peel back your layers, you are not alone. Many of us are waking up, we are seeking a deeper level of consciousness, and we are holding the space for you, for all. We are all one and you are not alone. Stay true to your own light and your purpose. Let go of the fear and know you are divinely being supported.