I have been absent from writing for about nine months now. In the last nine months, I have had huge life changes on about every level. Honestly, I feel like I am about to birth something...I am not sure what but I can feel it in every limb, crevice, crack, and organ in my body. It feels intense, enormous, exciting, deserving, and world changing. At times, I am deeply scared but most of the time, it feels fantastic to not know what is next but to have complete and total trust in something so much bigger than any of us.
Ten years ago, I could not “trust.” I had to make things happen, I had to control and push and push some more. Plot, plan, make lists, fulfill deadlines, everything depended on me and I kept pushing. The reality of it was, I had very little control over anything, no matter how hard I pushed. Now, I know. I wait, I listen, I pray in deep gratitude daily. I finally remember what I had forgotten, that I am supported...always. I can plan, control, plan some more and the reality is the Universe has it's own plan for me. The Universe has a plan for you. We all have a life purpose and it is impossible to listen when we are in a constant state of planning, pushing, controlling....denial. Our purpose will be revealed only when we let go of all the fears, open our hearts, minds, and trust. All that is needed is a willingness to believe in something bigger than ourselves. Then, simply ask to be shown what you were put on this planet to do, get silent, have patience, and listen.
I have been listening for years now. Everything is a message, a sign to me. Sometimes it is not my message. Once in awhile it is for someone else but I literally take everything as a message then decide how I will chose to react. We all have the ability to listen but our world continues to get filled up with more and more noise every single day. We develop gadgets to keep us stimulated, to keep us in a numbing fog of existence. If you want to know why you are here, how you can make a difference, you must not follow the crowd. You must learn to pave your own path. This I know for sure!
I am at a crossroads in life. My family wants me to take the safe route. My soul says, follow your life purpose. I literally feel like I am standing at a fork in the road, to my right is safety, to my left is passion, purpose and play. If I pay attention to the signs, in this case how my body feels, I feel like throwing up just thinking of taking the path to the right. I see my body wilting on the pavement, dying a slow and painful death. When I look to the left, I want to skip, run and play hopscotch. I see laughter and joy. I see hope and light. I see others moving forward because I am on this path. I see deeper love for the Whole.
The great thing about life is we get to chose. We all have choices we get to make everyday, no matter how bad our circumstances might be. I believe the last nine months has been the preparation for this choice I get to make. These months have been some of the most difficult times in my life, yet here I stand...whole, healthy and forever grateful.
If you would like help in finding your life purpose, please give me a call. Those on the other side are so eager to help each and every one of us move forward in love and light.
~ Photo credit to the amazing Lars Leber Photography