What if I told you I had once argued with the angels?

What if I told you I had once argued with angels? What if I told you I was sure at that time I was dead? What if the angels told me it wasn’t yet my time? What if I told you angels really truly “fly” beside us as we go throughout our lives on a daily basis? What if I told you those rays of sunlight we so often see are a sign from the angels, a message attempting to get our attention? What if some of those angels were your loved ones who have crossed over? What if the angels simply want us to realize that you too came from the same Divineness, the same Love? No matter what we look like or what our beliefs, the angels want us to know we are all ONE LOVE.

I recently was on a near death experience (NDE) panel at a Living and Dying Consciously conference. I told my story, 34 years after it happened to me, for the first time ever to a room full of over 150 strangers. Fortunately, there were three other simply fascinating women with me on the panel who for the most part, were telling their stories for the first time ever, too.

After telling my story, I felt a release of energy that I did not even realize I had kept in me all of these years. Before we started, we were all nervous, terrified and I believe, wanting to run away. But, we were surrounded by light and love. The energy in the room was that of welcoming, intent listening and somewhat awe as we all had very similar stories. Even for myself, I was amazed when the lady next to me said out loud that the angels told her the exact same thing they had told me and I hadn’t even told my story yet.

So, to those of you who read my blog and that may be two people or 2,000, I do not know but here goes my NDE story…..

When I was thirteen years old, my cousin had a moped. We were visiting a small town where both of my parents grew up and all of our family still lived. My mother told me I was not allowed on the moped and a few minutes later left me at my cousins’ house. Within thirty minutes, I was speeding down the street on the back of the moped with my cousin at the helm. We were looking for her lost dog. As we came up to a stop sign, we saw her mom across the street holding the dog. In the excitement, my cousin pulled out in front of an oncoming car. We got hit from the side (basically t-boned) and my aunt watched it all happen from the sidewalk. My foot got stuck in the grill of the car, then my body hit the windshield and I landed in the street quite a distance from the actual impact. I remember feeling like Dorothy circling in the tornado in the Wizard of Oz. The houses were spinning and I was thinking, “This is kind of cool but I am not sure it is going to end well!” I don’t remember landing. What I do remember is I went from flying in a tornado type of tunnel to a slower speed in a bright golden tunnel toward the heavens. It was extremely bright and warm, I believe very similar to what the birth canal must feel like. There were incredible gorgeous glowing angels with huge wings sitting around. Their light was so brilliant, it was blinding and I had to keep my eyes shut. Yet, I could see with my sixth sense or third eye that I didn’t even know existed before this event. The atmosphere was that of pure love, absolutely nothing else. The feathers on the angels were so soft, white and comforting. I wondered where they found all of those feathers. When I looked down, I could see my body lying in the street. There was a pool of blood by my legs. Kids on their bikes and skateboards were standing around me while an older man held my head. Everyone was staring at me as if I was dead. I saw my grandmother and my aunt. I told the angels I didn’t want to die and kept yelling, “Why are they looking at me like I am dead? Am I dead?” There was such peace even though I felt like I should be panicked. The angels softly told me it was not my time and I was not dead. I was told I had work to do so I was going back. I just kept saying over and over, “But, look at them, they all are staring at me as if I am dead!” I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, mom needs me even if she is going to want to kill me! At the same time, this amazingly gorgeous, warm, cozy place felt like home. The feeling of coming home, of being where I began was so strong. There was no fear, no anger, no judgment, no anxiety, nothing but love and warmth…total familiarity to my soul. Yet, I had completely convinced myself I was dead as I looked down upon my body. It wasn’t moving, I couldn’t feel it, I wasn’t in it, the people standing around looked very worried. There was blood everywhere and sirens from an ambulance coming down the road. I remember saying over and over to the angels, “Are you sure I am not dead?” They were so gentle, kind, loving, and reassuring. I felt panicked, like I needed to get back there because my mom expected me. Yet, the peace and light wrapped me in warmth I could relate to only through a sense I couldn’t quite understand and it made me question which was the better path.

This was the summer of 1981. I still remember this scene as though it happened yesterday. I went from the warm, bright, blinding, wrapped in love light to being right back in my body. I looked up and saw the man I had seen from above holding my head. I asked him if I was going to die and he said, “No, honey you are going to be okay.” Then, as I lay there in my body, I saw my aunt looking down as though I might just die and I remembered the angels saying, “It isn’t your time. You have work to do.” Even though I could not feel the lower part of my body physically, I knew then I was not going to die.

It has taken me 34 years to write this down. It has taken me 34 years to tell my story. It has taken 34 years and many, many encounters with angels to talk about my experience in the heavens. It was beautiful, loving and warm but we do not talk about death. We fear the unknown. We somehow believe if we do not talk about it, it will not happen to anyone we love, including ourselves. I realized that day dying was nothing to be afraid of but instead was just the moving on to another dimension. I also believed that day was something I could never speak of without others thinking I was crazy. I was headed into puberty full speed when this happened. It was a turbulent time and yet I got a taste of heaven. I got to feel the warmth and unconditional love I believe we all came from but somehow forget once we are here on Earth.

I can now look back on this experience having told my story to all of those strangers a week ago and know I was saved for something bigger. We are ALL here for a bigger purpose!

The angels, the spirits on the other side of the veil, they come to me often. They whisper messages in the wind, on the wings of the eagles, in the eyes of the does, in the dark of the night, in the rays of the sun, in the mouths of my children. Their message is one of love. They want us to wake up and realize we are ALL human first. What race, religion, gender, sex, political status, etc. you are…none of it matters. We are all ONE. Each of us came from the same light of the heavens. In order to turn this planet around, we have to start seeing that light in ourselves first so that we can reflect it back to others so that they may see their way out of the darkness. Shine brightly, you are a mirror, reflect others light, know one day you too will meet the angels and there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

In service of love and light….Staci

#NDE #neardeathexperience #angels #Oneness #heaven #love

Believe in Your True Self

I have been absent from writing for about nine months now. In the last nine months, I have had huge life changes on about every level. Honestly, I feel like I am about to birth something...I am not sure what but I can feel it in every limb, crevice, crack, and organ in my body. It feels intense, enormous, exciting, deserving, and world changing. At times, I am deeply scared but most of the time, it feels fantastic to not know what is next but to have complete and total trust in something so much bigger than any of us.

Ten years ago, I could not “trust.” I had to make things happen, I had to control and push and push some more. Plot, plan, make lists, fulfill deadlines, everything depended on me and I kept pushing. The reality of it was, I had very little control over anything, no matter how hard I pushed. Now, I know. I wait, I listen, I pray in deep gratitude daily. I finally remember what I had forgotten, that I am supported...always. I can plan, control, plan some more and the reality is the Universe has it's own plan for me. The Universe has a plan for you. We all have a life purpose and it is impossible to listen when we are in a constant state of planning, pushing, controlling....denial. Our purpose will be revealed only when we let go of all the fears, open our hearts, minds, and trust. All that is needed is a willingness to believe in something bigger than ourselves. Then, simply ask to be shown what you were put on this planet to do, get silent, have patience, and listen.

I have been listening for years now. Everything is a message, a sign to me. Sometimes it is not my message. Once in awhile it is for someone else but I literally take everything as a message then decide how I will chose to react. We all have the ability to listen but our world continues to get filled up with more and more noise every single day. We develop gadgets to keep us stimulated, to keep us in a numbing fog of existence. If you want to know why you are here, how you can make a difference, you must not follow the crowd. You must learn to pave your own path. This I know for sure!

I am at a crossroads in life. My family wants me to take the safe route. My soul says, follow your life purpose. I literally feel like I am standing at a fork in the road, to my right is safety, to my left is passion, purpose and play. If I pay attention to the signs, in this case how my body feels, I feel like throwing up just thinking of taking the path to the right. I see my body wilting on the pavement, dying a slow and painful death. When I look to the left, I want to skip, run and play hopscotch. I see laughter and joy. I see hope and light. I see others moving forward because I am on this path. I see deeper love for the Whole.

The great thing about life is we get to chose. We all have choices we get to make everyday, no matter how bad our circumstances might be. I believe the last nine months has been the preparation for this choice I get to make. These months have been some of the most difficult times in my life, yet here I stand...whole, healthy and forever grateful.

If you would like help in finding your life purpose, please give me a call. Those on the other side are so eager to help each and every one of us move forward in love and light.

~ Photo credit to the amazing Lars Leber Photography

#lifepurpose #consciousness #trueself #believe #messages

Seek Out Your Own 'Race' and Go 'Run' It...

Have you ever set a goal, no matter how big or small, stuck to it and realized as you were literally in the middle of accomplishing that goal, your life will be forever changed by the simple choice to go for it?

This past Saturday, I ran my first ever race at age forty-six. I started with a half marathon in Rocky Mountain National Park at 8000’ elevation. Challenging myself physically, mentally and even emotionally has been a lifelong theme. Although I did not cross the finish line first, I did finish the race, and this I considered a personal victory on many levels.

The race was more symbolic than just “jogging 13.1 miles” for me. I am entering a new phase of my life. I am finally awake and open like I have never been before. Moving forward in the race I call Life with my heart, soul and mind wide open. No more fighting for control, no more attempts at taking others energy in order to be ‘right,’ no more standing silent, no more selling of my soul in order to keep the peace or in hopes of making someone else feel better about themselves. I am choosing to live from love, to let go, to stand up for those who can not stand up for themselves, to give a hand up, to welcome people into my life who will call me out on my bullshit, who can lovingly say, “I want to reflect something back to you” when I revert back to my fears without realizing it.

Looking back on the race Saturday, I am not sure I would have done it had a dear friend from grade school not been there at the start and finish line running with me. I barely trained at all. I was unable to figure out how to train with small children around me 24/7. The night before I am not sure I even slept for two hours. I got up at 2:56am in order to get to the race by 5am. I was scared. What if I didn’t make it? What if my blood sugar dropped and I passed out? What if my knee or ankle that have both had several surgeries gave out? Every fear I could possibly imagine raced through my head on the drive up. But, then in the darkness of the extreme early morning, I saw not one but two shooting stars. I thought about the light, the brilliance, the energy that makes up a shooting star. I knew that same radiant energy was in me. I knew whatever I imagined, whatever I visualized, I would create.

So, as I drove up the windy mountain canyon, with nothing but the blackness of the night and the incredible luminous of all the stars above me, I realized I could do anything I put my mind to. I knew my body would follow what I believed was possible. I imagined myself at the finish line. I imagined my powerful legs carrying me wherever I chose to go. I called on my spirit guides, my animal guides and all those who have gone before me. I asked for their support, their guidance. I asked them to watch over me and give me strength both mentally and physically. I asked them to send me animals along the way to remind me how connected and powerful I am. I was scared and I chose to let go of the fear and believe in my true power, in my connectedness.

I picked my friend up at his hotel at 5am. I was a hot mess. I forgot my socks, which we had to run back and get. I left my water bottles, my snacks, but remembered the sunscreen because that is a definite at 5am. Honestly, I was a wreck and felt like throwing up. We got to the start line and there were hundreds of people. It was a cool, crisp, gorgeous morning in Estes Park. The music was blaring and there were people of all shapes and sizes jumping around. All of the sudden, my fears were gone and I knew I could accomplish anything. As we jogged around the lake, with mist rising off the water and ducks swimming everywhere, I saw a doe grazing not two feet away from me which calmed me down.

A couple of other girls and I that were from Missouri decided to sprint down this big hill just for the fun of it. This was mile three. By mile four, my hip and hamstring were killing me. I decided no matter what I was going to finish. I kept pushing on my hamstring where it attaches to my hip in an attempt to get it to release. When it absolutely was not going to give, I decided to crank up the tunes and drown out the noise in my head telling me I was in serious pain. The music helped immensely and I was grateful I forgot my food and water but not my music!

By mile 7.5, my feet were losing feeling. I wondered if this was normal. I mean during my training I had not made it past 3.5 miles, so I was clueless. By mile 8, my feet felt raw on the bottom, my hamstring wouldn’t loosen up and I wanted to lay down in the tall grass and stretch my whole body for the rest of the day. Two hummingbirds appeared right in front of me. They appeared to be playing Tag with each other. I decided as I watched them, that I simply needed to have fun and enjoy the beauty of my surroundings. I even received a helpful boost from a friend whom I hallucinated was tugging me up a steep and prolonged hill. At mile 12, two hawks flew out from the west straight towards me. They then circled above my head once and flew off to the east. I laughed out loud knowing the Natives believe hawk is a messenger from the spirit world. It literally was a message from all those I had asked before the race to send me light, strength and belief in my abilities. I thanked them, stayed present in the moment and kept on going even though I honestly could not feel my feet by then.

I came upon another woman about that time. Her phone had died so she had no music left to listen to. We started talking and found out we lived about 10 blocks from each other, both had small children and both thought we would have been able to train a lot more before the race. Instead, neither of us were ever able to figure out how to train appropriately with two little kids. This was her first half marathon, also. We agreed to cross the finish line together even though neither of us could feel our feet. My friend John met us at mile 12.5 and as we crossed the finish line, I felt proud, relieved and grateful to my dear childhood friend for being there for me in the beginning and end.

Today is day three post-race. I feel great other than a very sore toe. The feeling of accomplishment, of dedication to finishing, of the strength of my body feels like a testament to the spirit of my soul.

Just like this race, life is lesson upon lesson, letting go of what we have learned, being vulnerable, forgiving ourselves, being present, loving with a heart that is wide open no matter how many times that heart has been broken. Life is picking ourselves up and allowing others to help us put all the pieces back together. Life is holding the mirror up for others so that they may see the brilliance inside of them, too. Life is a process, each lesson a precious reminder of what we have forgotten and how much we must unlearn. By living true to our self, by truly opening to love, to the brilliant light within ourselves, we can truly set the entire world on fire. Seek out your own “race” and go run it because the world needs us all living our best life now!

Photo credit to John Grube

#runracejourneysoullive